Top 10 Family Guy Quotes!

10. "Hello, Mother. I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and its not a toaster."

9. "Of course a man made it. It's a commercial Lois, not a delicious Thanksgiving dinner."

8. "Whose leg do I have to hump to get a dry martini around here?"

7. "When I stick this army guy with the sharp bayonette up my nose, it tickles my brain. Ha ha ha...ow. Oh now I don't know math."

6. "Am I to spend the entire day wallowing around in my own feces? A little service here!"

5. "By all means, turn me into a child star. Perhaps I can move to Californ-i-ay and wrangle me a three-way with the Olsen twins."

4. "You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence...gotta get me some of that."

3. "I've got an idea - an idea so smart that my head would explode if I even began to know what I'm talking about."

2. "Ah, he is so right on. Women are such teases. That's why I went back to men."

1. "Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah, it's caught in the window this time."

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